A new look on the road usually traveled

**Another reflection paper I passed for my Th131 class. I have no idea why but my Th131 papers faired well, at least with my prof. Maybe I have developed a skill for writing? Haha. I don't think so. Maybe I have developed a skill for writing BS (bullsh*t) stuff. Haha. But anyway, I kind of like this paper I wrote. I don't know why. Maybe there is some truth in it? Haha.

**Again , there probably are a lot of typos here and grammar errors. That is because I do not edit my papers. I print them as soon as I am satisfied with the last paragraph I wrote and with the length of the paper I wrote. Haha.

If I were to liken my Th131 journey, I would probably liken it the very thing that Manila is known for: the heavy traffic. Traffic around the metro is a typical scenario in our everyday life. If one gets lucky and does not encounter a really heavy traffic, traveling from any point A to any point B will surely be a breeze. However, if one is unfortunate enough and gets stuck in a major conundrum of heavy traffic, one is likely to get a migraine and the rest of the day will feel like a drag. Although I have mentioned that my Th131 experience may be likened to the described scenario, it is not as bad as it may seem. Going through a heavy traffic will surely bring one down to a major breakdown, but it will also give that particular person a chance to observe the things that are surrounding him/her. He/She may notice that there has been a new billboard put up, or that the fences are newly painted, or that the once attractive pink billboard sign that reads "BAWAL TUMAWID NAKAMAMATAY" has been vandalize, or that the old Siopao Factory on the corner of the street which one used to frequent has been torn down. Indeed, the heavy traffic that may have irritated one or has ruined one's day may turn out to be a day of observations and surprises. My Th131 class has surely done this to me. In just a few months’ time, my perception of Th131 has shifted from being merely an academic requirement to a reflective experience.

On an ordinary school day, my normal route of going to school would include riding a trike from our village to the Amang Rodriguez Avenue. From there I ride a jeepney going to Marcos Highway where I will be riding another jeepney which will take me to Katipunan. If I am in a good mood and I have had a good morning so far, I would likely be walking from Petron Katipunan to Ateneo. However, if I am feeling lazy and sleepy, I would be getting a trike ride to school. Every single school day, I would be following the same route, going along the same roads, sometimes even seeing the same people. But the thing is, these are just a mere passing of things. From this typical everyday experience, I have acted a mere human using my logical and biological functions to go from my house to Ateneo.

This is very much like my realm of experiences I have gone through prior to Th131 class. Prior to this, I already have an experience of love, I have already known of people who have engaged in pre-marital sex, I have had my experiences of being a homosexual and I have had encountered others who are too. Every waking moment of my life, I interact and communicate myself to my family, to my friends, to my God. From time to time, I have also reflected on things and how they have affected my life. In the school where I came from, we also had a Catholic upbringing, hence, I have been able to go to recollections and retreats on a yearly basis. But then, my Th131 experience was a bit more than all these. Although at some points in my life, I am able to reflect on things, these are not the same reflections I have had in my Th131 class.

All these reflections I have had were based on the "breaks" I have encountered in my ordinary routinary life. My reflections on family matters would arise because of certain disagreements and arguments we may have ha during that day. My reflections on love would be based on the breakup that I have just had with my then boyfriend. My reflection on sex would be based on the news that I have received that someone from a younger batch just recently gave birth. My reflections regarding my faith would arise if I prayed so much and worked so much for one thing yet I did not get it. in short, I do not really get to reflect on things as they happen to me. I reflect on things because they are new to me, because they are things I have not heard of or experienced of, because they are things which are not usually part of my routinary, boring life.

My Th131 experience gave me an opportunity to really look at the things which may seem normal to us and reflect on how it affects me. The experience enriched not only my knowledge and understanding of things which pertain to life, love and sexuality but also, it has enriched my insight on things, it has enriched my reflections on things. It has made me understand not only others, but myself as well. Having gained a better understanding of myself, on my being a human person, on my being a Catholic, on my being a child of God, I am realize my worth as a person, my value as a person. Because of such, I am also able to position myself well in relation to others. I am able to gain a foothold in this world we are living in, I am able to use myself, my being as a witness of Christ here to the people I relate with.

Love, marriage, family life, human sexuality are things that are very much present in the world we live in, in the world I was born to. My experience of these things are immediate as these are things that are very much part of our human life. However, my Th131 experience has taken me beyond the materiality of these things. These things happen to people in the everyday course of their lives. We gain knowledge and understanding of these things experientially. But Th131 has taken me to the metaphysical aspect of these things. This class has made me realize and see that in the course of the experiences I undertake in life, I am not alone. In the many relationships - romantic, friendly, familial, etc. - I have involved myself in; I have realized that it is not just me and the other person/s. I have realized that in every action I take, I am always doing it in the presence of God.

This may be a surprising thing for other people. I know that because I, too, was surprised. Though I have always known, as I have always been taught, that God is everywhere and that He is with me always, I never really saw this materialize in the real world we live in. I have always thought that the presence of God is subjective and that the fact that He is always with us is based on the faith that one has in God. I have always thought that when one has such a strong faith in God, then that person will undoubtedly recognize and acknowledge His presence in his/her life. if, however, one has such a weak or even no faith in God, then His presence will not affective to that person and His presence will not be manifested in that person. Through this class, I have seen how the presence of God is not just something that our forefathers have passed on to us so that we will be assured that God loves us but it is something that is concretely real and reflected by the many love relationships that are present in the world, in the many love relationships that we are involved in. I have also seen the magnitude of God's love for us as He has allowed for us to many wonderful things in life.

The one thing that really made me step back, look at things differently and see God's ever-presence was the thought that the most perfect icon of the Trinity may be exemplified by the sexual union of two people. Having spent more than half of my life right now in an all-girls Catholic school run by nuns, the concept of sex was taught to us, except in biology class where the reproductive process was discussed. And being the conservative people that we supposedly are, the topic was never really discussed to us at all. However the world that we are living in now is a "sex-saturated" one. Images of it are just superfluous and inescapable. Anyone who has access to media is likely to have access to sexual images that media portray. Everywhere we look explicit and implicit sexual images may be seen. All sorts of media form have been bombarded with such images and thus, it has become objectified in our society. Most religious people and the older generations are against proliferating the knowledge and understanding of such while the youth are enjoying every bit of it, the image, the thought, even the experience as for others. Having been one of the many others who have such a rich exposure to media and to the sexual images portrayed then and having been brought up in a very conservative way, I have always thought that sex before marriage is bad. That is all I knew about it. Nothing more and nothing less. Well, again with the exception of the misleading images of sex that media portray, that was just about everything I knew regarding sex. But as Th131 has discussed, sex is not really bad at all. In fact it is the "way of expressing and completing the love that God has designed and awakened in us." It is the very image that exemplifies the mystery of the trinity. It is an image by which God has communicated Himself to us. This was a perspective of things I could have never thought of in the ordinary course of my life.

The abundance of things in life, the richness of our experiences, the boundless choices that we have are things which we would never really understand at all without reflecting on them in a more intense way. Things would be merely things, events would be merely events unless we try to really look into them, appreciate their presence and appreciate the fact that we experience these with someone, with God. A light traffic which cuts down the regular time to go from one place to another would be boring. Heavy traffic will likely be a drag and will probably ruin one's day but only if he/she allows it to. In the end, we always have a choice on how we would look at things. Heavy traffic may be seen as irritating and time-consuming and loss of income for some. But one can also choose to see it as an enriching experience to appreciate the world that we live in, to appreciate the life we are living, to appreciate the beauty of God's creation, to appreciate the presence of God in our lives. Unless of course, we are really late for an appointment or for an exam, then heavy traffic will be really such a pain.