On memories that seem to fade away

I am scared that the day would come and I will lose the wonderful memories I have made for the past 21 years of my life. Painful memories that made me want to kill myself, that made me want to vut myself off from this world. Memories that made me feel alive. Memories that made me feel loved. Memories that made me believe in the existence of a God. Memories that made me sing and dance like a fool in the presence of this very God. Memories that made me realize how God has always been present in my life.

For some reason, I feel that, slowly, those memories are starting to fade away. That, slowly, memories of those few "God Moments" I have had are fading away. I am scared.

I am scared that when I wake up one day, I will be starting to doubt the things that I believe in. To doubt the very things that keep me whole. That keep me from killing myself. That hold my insane self together.

I pray that that day never comes. My life right now is not perfect. My life is nothing but ordinary.

But I have God.

I have all I ever need.

On hating Vanessa Hudgens

I was watching High School Musical 2: What's what edition a few minutes ago. And I just have to say I truly hate Vanessa Hudgens!

Reason #1: She can't sing.
I'm no expert when it comes to music per se. I cannot distinguish easily the different notes. But I do enjoy music. And Vanessa Hudgens' voice is not enjoyable. It reminds me of a vocalization exercise we once had in the choir I used to be part of. "May ipis na puti, naipit sa pinto, piping pipi. Patay." That is how her voice is. She sounds not just like a cockroach. But a cockroached who got mashed by a door.

Reason #2: She can't dance.
Well, maybe she can. But it looks too awkward. I feel embarrassed for her. She looks like a stick person trying to dance. How did she ever get to be in a movie like HSM?

Reason #3: She is a slut.
I know she apologized for her scandalous pictures which got leaked online. But she is still a slut for doing those photos with the intent of sending it to her then boyfriend. It is just wrong. I know celebrities are just humans as well but because they are seen through all sorts of media, I honestly think they should take the higher road. They should be more careful, more concerned with the way they do things because whatever they do, whatever trouble they get into, it is magnified a hundred times.