On getting a feel of HEAVEN

Last weekend I attended the 15th International Leaders Conference of YFC in Tagaytay. I went there wanting to get something to hold on to for me to endure my "dry" moments. I wanted to get something to hold on to to put me back on track with regards to my faith.

I had to attend my brother's highschool graduation last Friday so I missed the first day activities of the event. I won't be writing about the whole ILC experience. It was just soooo rich that to write about it will require a really looong post. There really is just so much to say about it. Instead, I will write about my own "God moment" during the event. I will write about that one point in the event that really made me feel I am in the presence of my God.

Saturday night. It was the worship before the second session. It was already so cold there. Even colder than the usual since it just rained during the afternoon then and the ground was still a bit wet. I remember trying so hard to pray and talk to Him then (recently, I have been struggling with my praying). I was trying so hard not to concentrate on my singing (there are times when I am worshipping that I get too conscious if my singing is okay). I was trying to indulge myself in the lyrics of the song we were singing then. I was successful. And I remember reaching to the heavens with both my arms. I remember singing with all my heart as loud as I can, not minding how my singing was. I remember really talking to Him. As my arms were raised worshipping God, singing with full conviction, a cool breeze blew across my face and my body. It was not even just a cool breeze. It was a cold one, a really cold one. But, suprisingly, I enjoyed it. Even if it was brushing against my already shivering hands, it felt nice. It felt comforting.

At that moment, I felt God's presence surrounding me. I felt God speaking to me, letting me know of his presence at that point in time and His presence in my everyday life. I felt God reminding me that even though I choose Him or not, He will always love me. I felt God telling me that He will never leave me. That the "dry" moments in my life are those moments that I have chosen not to see Him.

I wish I could love like God. Unconditional. No ifs, not buts. I want to love others as much as He loves me. I want to love Him as much as He loves me.